So far in his letter Paul has primarily been writing about what we might call spiritual things. The divinely inspired teacher from Tarsus has written about spiritual relationships: our relationship with the Three-In-One God; the new relationship that exists in the New Covenant Community between Jews and Gentiles; and how the saints are to relate to each other within Messiah’s Holy Community. Now he addresses other relationships that have to do with other important relationship to human beings on Earth.
The first is the relationship between husband and wife which we covered last week. The second is the parent-child relationship, and the last is the slave-owner relationship.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Children are to obey their parents because it is right. It is right because God, who is the Master Designer, has made it right. He has created humanity. He has created the family. He has ordered the way it is to be managed. He has put parents in their position of authority over their children.
The Creator has given parents God-ordained authority over their children. Because God has put them in their position of authority over their children, out of respect for God, parents are to be obeyed.
It is right for children to obey their parents because the parent-child relationship is very special. Parents are the ones that God uses to bring children into existence; to give them life. That is profound thing, and that gives parents the right to tell their children what to do.
It is right for children to obey their parents because as a general rule parents love their children and do what is best for them. If parents are doing what is good for their children, and they generally are, then it is foolish and self-destructive for their children to disobey them.
It is right for children to obey their parents because they do so much for them. They care for them, protect them, pay for them, feed them, clothe them, house them, instruct them.
You have heard of this version of the golden rule – he who has the gold, makes the rules? Parents have the gold, and that gives them the right to make the rules for their children. Boy, girl, when you are 18, and independent, and living on your own, then your parents no longer have the right to demand that you obey them. But until that time, you obey your mom and dad.
It is right for children to obey their parents because children are young and foolish and inexperienced. They need guidance. They need to learn obedience. They need boundaries. Parents are older and wiser, and it is God’s design that the guidance and boundaries and rules come from parent to child.
It is right for children to obey their parents because the way children treat their parents will influence the way they treat their other relationships – their spouse, their children, their co-workers and friends. If a child has a good relationship with his parents, that will spill over onto his other relationships.
Parents, your relationship to your children is not primarily one of friendship. Friendship implies equals. Your children are not your equals. They are not your good buddies. When you are dealing with them, you don’t treat them as you would a friend. Your position to them toward them is one of authority. You have the right to set boundaries that your children are to respect.
“But why mommy and daddy do I have to obey you? Why do I have to do this? I don’t want to do it!” Answer: “Because we are the parents and you are the child. We are in charge. That’s the way it is. That is the way the Lord wants it. It’s right. ” You don’t have to explain your reasons for setting boundaries. You don’t need to bargain with your children. You don’t need their permission or approval.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord – especially if they know the Lord, and they things they are telling you to do are what is right according to the Word of the Lord. But even if they are not Believers, obey them as long as they are demanding that you do what is right. If they are demanding that you do something wrong, unethical or immoral, you have a higher duty – to God, and you need to resist your parents in that area.
Children, honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the Earth. Children are to honor their parents. Even if the parents are not perfect – and all parents are imperfect, they are commanded by the Creator to treat them with respect. When the children are older, they are to take care of their parents in their times of need.
This is God’s will for the parent-child relationship. This is God’s design and it works. Children who obey and honor their parents will make fewer mistakes. They will be prevented from engaging in foolish behavior. They will save themselves from many harms. They will generally live longer, and have more successful lives. They will be more blessed in this life, and the Lord will bless them in the Life-To-Come, because when a child honors his parents is honoring God, and God honors those who honor Him.
Now Paul addresses parents, specifically fathers: Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Parents, and especially fathers, must give their children training and instruction. They must be taught about the Lord – knowing who God is, and what He is like, and what He demands from us. From their youngest days children must be taught the Word of God, and the difference between right and wrong, and morality and the need for good character and a good conscience.
Fathers are to correct their children when necessary. Children, particularly boys, need correction, and parents, particularly fathers, must supply this. It is a negligent father who won’t discipline his child. It is a neglected child who is not properly and consistently disciplined by his parents.
Parents must teach their children, train their children, set boundaries for their children, correct their children, but they must be consistent in their requirements, reasonable in their demands, and not hypocritical in their behavior. They are to correct their children, but not out of proportion, and not with too much harshness, otherwise the children will be provoked, get angry and rebel.
It is the parents who are responsible for the discipline and training and instruction and character formation of their children – not the Shabbat school teachers. Parents must know the Lord themselves, and sound doctrine, and teach those things to their children. They must read the Bible with them, pray with them, and take them to a good congregation. Imparting the knowledge of the Word of God, and godly values, and setting boundaries, engaging in consistent and reasonable discipline, combined with love, are the way to produce successful and blessed children.
Next is the relationship between slaves and masters. I think I remember reading that in the Roman empire, the percentage of slaves in the population may have been as high as 80%. While there are still slaves in some parts of the world today, and some of you might think that your relationship to your employer is like slave and master, let’s think about this in terms of employers and employees. Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling,
Obedience characterizes the relationship of a slave to his master. Following the rules characterizes the relationship of an employee to the company he works for. The employee needs to know the rules and follow them. He needs to show up on time. He needs to give his employer a full day’s work. He needs to work hard. He needs to treat his bosses with respect. And he should treat them with respect, with a kind of fear and trembling, knowing that they are in a position to make his life easy or hard.
What motivates the Christian and Messianic Jewish employee to do a good job; to work hard; to be honest; to show their boss, their manager, the owner of the company respect, almost the same kind of respect that we show the Messiah? Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Messiah; not by way of eyeservice, as men pleasers, but as slaves of Messiah, doing the will of God from the heart. It is the understanding that when we work hard and treat our managers and employers with respect, we are doing it out of duty to God. This is what God requires from us. This is what the Almighty wants from us. This is God’s will for us. In being a good employee, we are doing the will of God. We are serving the Lord. We are following Messiah. We are pleasing God.
Others may gripe and complain about their jobs, their bosses, their companies, the owners of the company, but not us. We understand that work that is legal and ethical is good and is ordained and sanctified by God. Work is God’s will for us. God wants us to work. He does not want use to be idle. He does not want us to waste our time. He wants us to work, and work hard. The Lord has designed things so that we earn our living by the sweat of our brow. Work is part of God’s judgment on humanity that comes from the Fall, and is punishment, but it is also a blessing. Work improves us in ability, in diligence, in faithfulness, in character. It provides for us and our families. Our work helps others in our society. Work keeps us out of trouble.
We are not motivated to work hard and obey the rules and show respect as men-pleasers, by way of eyeservice, to be noticed by men, or to please men, or to advance ourselves or our careers. We are motivated by the knowing that our jobs and our bosses are ordained by God. The Lord has so worked that we are in that job and we have that particular boss. This is God’s provision for us. This God’s plan for us. Therefore we have a good attitude toward them, and work hard from the core of our being, out of a sincere heart, knowing that in working hard and showing respect to our bosses, we are serving God.
With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men. The jobs we have are God’s will for us, God’s provision for us. It is not just the work of ministry, the apostle, prophet, pastor, teacher evangelists, whose work is of the Lord, but the plumber, the carpenter, the factory worker, the white collar worker, the CPA, the lawyer – well, maybe not the lawyer, whose work is also of the Lord. Our work, if it is honest and ethical, is God-ordained, holy, sanctified.
When we are at work, we are serving the Lord. Our work environment, if our companies are producing an ethical good or service, is like the Temple, and we are like priests who serve at the Temple. Therefore we work with good will. We have a good attitude. We work hard. We work with diligence. We work with excellence. We work with honesty. We show respect.
Our work environment is like the Temple, and we are like priests. A priest brings men closer to God, and God closer to men. So, we view our jobs not only as God’s way to provide for our needs, but also as place of opportunity to preach and teach and instruct and correct and pray and bless our co-workers, and maybe even our bosses. We are their priests. We are God’s representatives to them, His ambassadors, His emissaries. We are their light. We are their Bible.
And, the Lord wants us to know that He will reward the one who has this kind of attitude. With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free. The Judge of all the Earth will weigh the opportunities, the talents, the attitudes, the level of diligence, and make His determinations for reward or punishment. The excellent plumber with a great attitude may be rewarded more than the mediocre rabbi. The diligent, hard working white collar worker who has a difficult boss may be more greatly blessed than the lazy pastor. The young man who loves the Lord and works hard in the mail-room might wind up with a much greater reward than the selfish owner of the company.
Now we come to the relationship of the employer to the employee: And masters, do the same things to them, and give up threatening, knowing that both their Master and yours is in Heaven, and there is no partiality with Him. Do the same things to them: treat them with good will, with a measure of respect, with honesty. Pay them a fair wage. Make sure working conditions are good. Don’t work them too hard. Don’t be unreasonable. Don’t be mean. Don’t take advantage of your position or power or authority. You do this because this is right, and because God has put you in your position of authority, and He will reward you if you do well and punish you if you fail.
Manager, owner, keep in mind that you are accountable to the Chief Executive Officer of the Universe. You must report to the Supreme Boss. The Manager of Earth and Heaven is not partial. He is not impressed by your position. He is your judge just as much as He is the judge of those who work for you. In fact, to whom much is given, much is required, and He will reward a good employee more than a bad boss!